January 2012
19 posts
December 2011
20 posts
5 tags
The Things I Would Do
Sabalabadingdong: oh dear!
sorry this creepy guy keeps talking to me
CSII: tell him you're taken
by me
your Insurance Husband
and I would move mountains and exterminate races to keep my dental
10 tags
9 tags
Christmas Letter to My Friend, Ash
My Dearest Ash:
The move to the cupboard- as I am all certain you have heard of, thanks to a Ms. P and her gossipy geese; those “fowl” mouthed birds are gonna end up on my Christmas Dinner Table if they keep honking about what they ought not honk about, uhhhh, but I digress, I think- so, the cupboard, where I live now with Roberta Sr. and our (now, sadly) two children. Little Roberta...
9 tags
8 tags
5 tags
The Innate Rights of This "Human Being," Your...
“These workers are like Nike’s children- in fact, they are mostly children, your honor! How could you be so callous…so cruel to take children away from their de facto Mother?” Don’t these children have actual mothers, he said back. I removed my kippah and wrung it in my hands, sighing, telling His Honor, “with the Tsunami, you see…” He understood. ...
7 tags
11 tags
EGDL Meets Her Long-dead Uncle
The Last Night on Earth for EGDL:
I lifted her skirt up to find yet another skirt. ‘A tough one to crack,’ I said to myself, ‘but surely worth it.’ So I lifted up the second skirt and to no surprise, there was yet another skirt. I laughed at this; however, 8 skirts in, I stopped laughing and started getting a little weirded out. But, I kept on, reminding myself that the...
9 tags
Oh Lolita light of my knees.
– My Story Generator’s take on Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita.
10 tags
Wood or Water
I’ve been tweaking my Story Generator. For one, now it’s guaranteed to end with a period, so there’s that. Secondly, I’ve retooled the randomization process. It used to say, “We have XYZ and for Z, what is the list of words that have appeared immediately after Z and from that list, randomly choose one and then use that to determine the next n-gram to throw...
6 tags
The Help
“Oh, they threw a bone to the negro. I, myself, would have just thrown the bone away.” -20 second review of “The Help”
4 tags
His Horse, His Right-
He’ll Make the Horse His Wife.
The constitution don’t say nothing about bestiality. RON PAUL 012
10 tags
"Oh, the Unnameable! Oh, the Incomprehensible!"
Have we any H.P. Lovecraft fans out there? Of course we do- it is the internet! Using my superior N-gram Story Generator and the entire text of his Dagon, I have constructed for you this short story titled: “”Oh, the Unnameable! Oh, the incomprehensible!”“
other tones which Nature utters only in her wildest moods. When I had been given scant attention. Of any land which...
8 tags
The 6-gram Story
Jerry Sandusky Goes Meta
I built a N-gram story teller like my 7-gram, but this one has been pruned down to six words and what it does is it goes through the text and it looks at every word and the word immediately after it. It takes the first and makes that the entry in the dictionary and the word after one of its buddies. So you get something like DOG: JUMPS EATS SHOOTS PLAYS. Then what it does...
10 tags
Bothered
CSII: A podcast you say? Then it's perfect for my winter "pretend I am reading this garbage, but I am really listening to a podcast" list.
CSII: I've been hanging at the Union more the last few weeks. I really like it. I don't care if the next 100 classes at OSU have to pay for it. It's neat. It has cool chairs and shit.
Julez: i love the union
CSII: and just as I say that some guy petitioning to get on the ballot as a Libertarian candidate comes up to me and asks if I am registered to vote in Franklin County and gives me his card
See, I have a nice, gloriously red star on my right upper arm to signify my undying loyalty to the spirit of the magnificent soviet socialist republic, but I never have it out front and center.
today I learned my lesson.
Julez: lol damn libertarians